Friday, March 30, 2012

Lottery Odds

I know. Really. I do. I’m not a gambler by nature because I know my luck.

Not that I don’t think about the big WHAT IF?

Of course I do!

Pay off everything for everyone I know. Nice place for me and mom where ever we want. A wardrobe not made up of 80% Old Navy. (Not that I don’t like them, I love them, it just would be nice to be able to afford something super Red Carpet nice.)
Be able to pay the gas bill off in full every month. A super awesome vacation. Italy! Shoes!
An excellent tree house for the kitties. A comfortable couch. Of course charities. The ASPC for one. Razors for the men in Hollywood. You know the essential ones.


All just the usual,I guess.

But I know. I know the truth. This is the truth.

Ten things with better odds of happening before I win 500 million dollars.

1. Rick Santorum shows up on Anderson wearing a hot pink suit and says he will only spread the true message, the message of love and not hate. Oh and everyone gets healthcare, because he does in fact care about life, even for women.

2. Adam Sandler makes a watchable movie.

3. I die. Come back. Die. Come back. Die. Come back. And when 500 million dollars is equal to $6.75, I will win. (Actually, this is likely within my lifetime.)

4. The Muppets stop being fun.

5. Madonna speaks without a foreign accent. Again.

6. The cat doesn’t trip and try to kill me every time I go into the kitchen.

7. A chemical is found in Reese’s Peanut Butter cups that requires you to eat at least five a day to cure all diseases.

8. Vodka stops being fun.

9. Harvey Levin from TMZ says something that doesn’t offend anyone, anywhere. Not even a tiny bit.  Smile    (I smile cause I love him)

10. Gary takes the garbage out without being asked. Not even once.

As you can see there are a whole bunch of things I can look forward to before winning the lottery. Especially tonight’s.
With that, this ‘has her three little tickets and wonders if she could buy Alec Baldwin if she won barrel’ wishes all who try good luck. And if you win, very large donations are welcome Smile

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