Day 6: Something you hope you never have to do.
I’ve been putting this off. Not because I have no idea what to write, but because I know exactly what to write.
I could say the obvious, such as, making medical decisions about life or death for loved ones. But really, that would be a given.
It was this that I knew I never want to do.
I remember when my sister was crying in pain. I remember the doctor dismissing her. Even when we were sitting right in front of him, and him saying “Well go to the ER then.”
Why we would want to do that when he is right in front of us? We didn’t understand either. I don’t remember what answer he gave.
But I remember the frustrated, agonizing crying.
When my little Fat Boy was dying he was weak, wobbly, hungry and thirsty. He couldn’t see or smell the food or water. He was starving because he was dying. He didn’t understand this. He just wanted to eat and drink. And he could not.
He walked into the living room and let out the most gut wrenching sound.
It’s been years since they both left us. But if I even think about those two sounds; her and Del crying, well there are no words to tell you how much it still hurts.
So that would be it. The thing I hope I never have to do.
I hope I never have to hear someone I love make those sounds. Ever again.