Thursday, September 10, 2009

A Dogstar Shines in WNY

Keanu Reeves shares that same spot in my heart that John Cusack does. Through my life from teenager to adult he has been there in the background making movies. Yes. As clich├ęd as it is. Those movies have brought joy and tears and laughter. 
From Tune in Tomorrow to The Matrix to The Lake House I’ve enjoyed watching him in just about everything he does.

But this isn’t a Keanu is fabulous post. There are many more women and men who do that. And much better.keanu-reeves
This is more of a welcome post.

You see Mr. Reeves’ is going to be here in WNY filming Henry’s Crime. Which you can read about here.

Yes. I know it’s not until November. But there’s nothing wrong with getting an early start.
See that?  Below? A welcome post. Told you so.

Mr.Reeves,

We are thrilled to have you filming in our chilly neck of the boarder. Jim Carrey filmed here and look how that turned out. So I expect even more from you. Pretty golden statue more.

No pressure.

I just wanted to let you know that during your stay here there are a few things that people may or may not tell you before you arrive.

So I hope that these tips help to make your filming here a sweet and not so cold adventure.

1. Winter arrives on October 12th. You will need to pack:

 Several heavy sweaters:  I prefer cardigans since they are easily removed when you enter a building that has the heat at 85 degrees. But that’s just me.

Thick socks:   Lots of them. Remember, when snow melts it is water. I know it sounds like a no brainer. We all tend to forget that the fun pretty stuff that you  Socks rainbow 400build cute snowmen/snowwomen with will always work it’s way under the pant cuff , up and over the boot top and settle down around your toes. Inevitably leaving you with ten frozen digits that take six hours and five shots of whiskey to thaw out.

Winter hat:   I don’t know about the 80% of heat issue. I do know that wet frozen hair is unpleasant.

Gloves:   A few takes in that toll booth and this will need no explanation. Let’s just say, coins are motherf***ing cold once the air hits them. And for those with pierced ears or other body parts, if it gets cold enough you will actually feel the cold post of your jewelry. Really. At some point your body heat will not keep the metal warm anymore.  Icy cold metal touching flesh? Not as much fun as you would think. Just an FYI.

Scarf: By all means find yourself a Tom Baker Doctor Who scarf! When the windtom_baker_scarf chill is in the minus’s and blowing 20 MPH, you will want to cover your nose and mouth. You know that sweet cold air that comes up out of the beer bottle just when you open it? Multiple that by a trillion. Not so sweet anymore.  I guarantee it.

Boots:   Not for fashion. But  something with a heavy tread to keep you from slipping on the four inches of ice that appear during the wee hours of the morning while you sleep peacefully unaware of the horror that is happening right outside. And they should be a size larger to fit the socks.

Winter coat:   Movement is a must. It needs to be large enough to get on with all the layers. The Christmas Story kid may be cute on film, but here they just roll you off the shoveled path so you’re not in the way.

2. Stay away from subjects involving:

Sports: There are The Bills. There are The Sabers. There are no other teams. There are just players that wish they were a Bill or a Saber.

Politics: It will be a fruitless debate. There are nuances and particulars that 70stephencolbert-republican-democrat year old men are still working out. It is not something to be jumping into blind. That’s how you hurt yourself.

Pizza:  It will be a fruitless debate. There are nuances and particulars that 70 year old men are still working out. It is not something to be jumping into blind. That’s how others hurt you.

3. Things you should keep in mind:

Passport/ID: Don’t forget you need a passport or an Enhanced ID to get back from visiting Canada. You can wander over into Canada all you want. However, without the proper ID you will not be allowed back into the ole’ US of A. You will then have no choice but to move to Canada, change your name to Jean Taffutte and be shunned for the entire of your existence once you are spotted cheering for the Sabers. It’s true. It happened to a friend of a friend’s second cousin’s boyfriend’s uncle. Uncle Jean.

Beef ‘n Wick: Never Beef on Weck. Ever.

Chicken Wings: Always chicken wings. Never, ever, ever Buffalo Wings.
For your own safety. And yes. You want Bleu Cheese with them.

Vernor’s: Be careful with this stuff. Most of us have built a tolerance that took image001 decades. Some actually find it to sweet. For a beginner it can suck the air out of your lungs. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.


Niagara Falls: Can be quite nice to look at. Except in December when it’s 10 degrees and the wind chill is minus 15 and you wish you’d listened about the coat and sweaters. Oh yes. You will wish.

The Bars:  If you require a drink or sixteen, the bars are open in Buffalo until 4AM. Like New Orleans. But not really at all.


I think these tips should give you a strong start to your trip. I do hope they make your stay a more comfortable one.

Oh. Yeah. And...

welcomeconfeetibutton

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