Tuesday, July 14, 2009

So Much Happening So Little Xanax

* These last few treatments have been brutal. Needle hell. Dialyzer hell. You name it, it went wrong hell. The needles were bad. The leg is so sore there just isn’t enough numbing stuff to make it completely numb. I hope it gets better fast.
The Xanax helps bring me down to normal freak out levels but not below that. So there’s always a freak out.
Part me is just feeling like “Okay. That’s all right? We are done here, right?”
It’s a lot like when I quite smoking. I was fine for a little bit and then the whole forever thing started to really sink in. That’s how I feel lately. Forever is sinking in and I’m not liking at all.

* They started me on a new dialyzer on July 2nd. It was ordered special. Just for me. It’s smaller and should by all rights work better. I know this. However the facts are far different. On July 2nd my blood pressure dropped in the first half hour. I left a kilo heavy and it was a weekend. Not good.
Since that day my blood pressure continues to drop (last treatment it was within 15 minutes), my heart rate jumps to 140s and I leave heavy.
On June 31st I was going to ask the doctor to decrease my dry weight because I was leaving in the 31 kilo range for the last month. Suddenly I’m leaving at 33kilos and one day it was 33.5 kilos.
They keep asking if I gained weight, but since the dietitian thinks I’m malnourished I’m thinking no. I also don’t think I gained 5 pounds in a day and a half.
Unless I’m eating full cows by the light of the moon that is.
But again, I think no.
Hopefully we can go back to the old dialyzer soon.

* And speaking of food. Damn it my potassium is high again. I have no idea why. I barely eat and when I do it’s not tomatoes, oranges, potatoes or bananas.
I’ve been writing down everything I eat for the last four or five days now in hopes of figuring out what the problem is.
I’m not seeing it. I am however seeing why my phosphorous is high. Wow on that. I cut back a bit once I saw it in writing.
Maybe the dietician will be able to help. She is so going to freak when she sees how little I eat. She’s already on me about my lack of protein intake. Oh what will Tuesday bring!

* And speaking of food. Apparently there is absolutely no food whatsoever allowed in any dialysis units anywhere. Not even beverages.
So say someone has a sandwich at 2pm and they leave the house at 3pm. And lets say that that person’s heart rate was high at the end of her treatment and had to sit for, oh, say an hour and a half. Lets then say the cab company forgot to send the cab and she didn’t get home until 12:15 AM. That’s a very long time not to have a little something to eat.
Stupid policies.

So here we are Tuesday. A whole lot to worry about day. Lets hope that a few of them are taken care of day.

1 comment:

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