Sunday, June 21, 2009

Dear Xanax…

how I need you so.

Yesterday was needle day. And as I thought I was a wee bit on the anxious side.

They did numb up the area. But when the nurse came at me the first time with the shiny object I found I had practically climbed back in the chair.

He gave me a few more minutes so I could gather.
I finally calmed myself enough.

I used the ‘what else can I do’ ‘it’s this or death’ 'buck up for ten minutes’ reasoning.

It went fine. He got them in in a quick second and the Lidocaine worked. I didn’t feel a thing.

Everything worked great.

Still I was very nervous. One nurse said I looked like I wanted to leap from the chair.
Yep. Even after everything was running beautifully. (It’s that damn other shoe. I keep waiting for it.)

I will be calling my doc to see if he can let me have something for a short time while I get used to things.

On a different note, the catheter has been removed. That went well, at least for me. I can’t say how it went for the team. For me though it was all good.

I feels weird not having it now. It was there since March.
I keep wanting to check it and make sure it’s okay.
Then yesterday just before they took the needles out I was thinking “Aren’t they going to flush these?”
Umm. No. They are taking them out. They don’t need to be flushed.

Weird.

There’s also the “You mean I have to do this again?” part.
I know I do, it’s just the reality of knowing I have to. Two different ideas to get a grip on.

I will though. Don’t know when or with what drug, but I will.

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